I’ve been dreading this day for the last two months, hoping it would never come even though I knew it eventually would. Monday it happened and now that it’s here it’s even more painful than I feared it would be.
Last November 14 I received an emailed letter from my friend Joy DeSanctis. Some other people who worked with her on her post-Sandy civic activism and had become very close with her received the same letter. I must add here that Joy was the kind of person that you could not work with her without becoming very close to her.
In her letter she revealed something she had kept private from us for the nearly four years that we all knew her. She had been living with pancreatic cancer and had decided at that point to tell us because she finally could no longer be active and it had become clear that the end was approaching.
It came as a complete shock to me and I’m sure to everybody else as well. The entire time she had been very publicly fighting for honest, responsible and accountable government in Belmar she was privately fighting this very terrible disease. She had kept the knowledge of her condition from us because she didn’t want it to be a part of her our life with her or her life with us. And she was so beautiful, so cheerful, funny and spirited, so active and energetic, and she fought with such insuppressible determination that none of us could ever have imagined that she was actually dying right before our eyes.
And what the news of her terminal disease reveals to us is that she did not spend thousands of precious hours obtaining and sifting through documents, organizing petition drives and participating in litigation so she could enjoy a better, more affordable Belmar. She did it so that we could.
Of course the truly important thing in our lives is not our town but our families. Joy deeply loved her husband Carmine, a wonderful man who loved her back just as much. And she loved her beautiful children and grandchild and was a wonderful mother and grandmother to them. I can’t imagine the pain they must be feeling. Please think of them, and those of you who pray please pray for them.
There will be a celebration of her life this Saturday, January 21 at St. Paul’s UMC, 80 Embury Ave. in Ocean Grove.
Visitation is from 9:00 AM to 11:00 AM. A memorial service will immediately follow.
12 Comments
Thank you Dave. Joy was such a gift to so many of us in Belmar. For years, we talked weekly and sometimes daily. So much to do. My prayer is that those who were loved, touched and inspired will continue the work. So much yet to do.
So sorry for her Family’s loss.
So many, many families were blessed by your good works and silent strength and encouragement. God bless you and keep you Joy.
Our periodic table is missing the golden element, Au.
Speechless
Thank You David for your post. Very well said.
It was a JOY to know Joy.
Those who sow in tears shall reap with sounds of JOY!
She was so very nice. I hope God knows what the heck he is doing.
Her name was “Joy” and she was a joy to everyone that knew her. Could not help but love her dearly. Rest in peace Joy
As long as we live, she lives.
RIP Beautiful soul to help so many. Perhaps some kind of fundraiser in her honor to benefit Belmar or cancer charity?
Joy had a way of drawing people to her
that was so heartfelt that you didn’t
think anything about the kiss on the cheek and returned it because it was Joy. It was a natural thing to do. She
Loved her family her first grand baby
friends and the people around her and life. We will all miss her because she was so caring and loving. Rest In Peace Joy.
Post a Comment